Calling all Singles! Romance Yourself on Valentine’s Day

This is the fourth post in our Valentine’s Day series, to help you get ready for Valentine’s Day in a happy and healthy way. Find out ways you can treat yourself this February 14th, thanks to expert Rachel Sussman, LCSW.

Each year come January my single clients start to dread the inevitable arrival of February 14th. They complain to me how much our society promotes romance and coupling, and that no holiday signifies that message more than the ubiquitous Valentine’s Day. Valentine’s Day is even more challenging to endure if you are healing from a heart break—my teenage daughter, still aching from a breakup, bemoaned to me, “Valentine’s Day is designed to make single people feel simply awful!” Unfortunately, I do think many people share her sentiment.

In my opinion, Valentine’s Day has become a hyped-up holiday, which allegedly honors eternal love. It is over promoted to sell greeting cards, thorny roses (which triple in price), fattening candy, and expensive dinners. The fallout from this advertising campaign is that singles often feel excluded from the party.  Still, don’t let it bring you down!

Please remember that being single is nothing to be ashamed of; it does not have to mean that you are alone or that you are lonely. If you are single on Valentine’s Day, try not to fret about it; instead, consider looking at the holiday in an innovative way. In fact, your status as a single person allows you the tremendous opportunity of getting reacquainted with yourself, and in the process you may discover new passions and interests that can really turn you on. Valentine’s Day is actually the perfect time to try new activities that you have always wanted to do but never have. So let’s take a fresh look at Valentine’s Day and consider making it a holiday to romance yourself.

Here are a few ideas to help you enjoy the day—doing so will enable you and cupid to bury the hatchet and become fast BFFs:

  • Stay optimistic regarding romance. If you find yourself pining over a lost love or feeling blue that you are not in a relationship, make a promise to yourself to stay strong and be optimistic. Tell yourself that if you want to be in love one day, you will. Try to remember that the right partner is always worth waiting for.
  • Great friends heal all that ails. Call your single friends and get a fun plan in the works; invite them over for a pot luck anti-Valentine’s Day dinner. Celebrate your singleness and the beauty of solid friendships.
  • Spend Valentine’s Day volunteering your time for a great cause. The allotment of time and resources to a charitable program is unquestionably a satisfying experience. Volunteering creates personal growth and it’s a marvelous way to meet new people. With your own two hands, you will be changing the world.
  • Get yourself to a spa – Spend the day getting pampered. Get a massage, facial, a makeover, or treat yourself to a session with a personal trainer. Remember, you are worth it!
  • Reconnect to culture in your city – See a play, movie, art exhibit or live music. Attend a lecture. Go to a museum. Every city has much to offer, so do take advantage of it.
  • Nature has tremendous healing powers – Even though it’s cold in much of the country, get outside and have a walk in a park or in the woods. Go skiing, jogging, or play tennis. If you live near the ocean, take a long stroll on a beach (or join a Polar Bear club). Basking in nature’s glory can be a soothing and majestic experience.
  • Stay engaged.  Focus on your job during the day and have a plan for the evening.  If your friends aren’t up for going out, have a movie on deck or a great book to read so the time will pass by quickly.

After you’ve tried out some of these ideas, take a moment to give yourself a big hug. Remember that love comes from many different sources, and there are ample reasons to experience joy on Valentine’s Day.


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Get more advice from Rachel Sussman, LCSW:
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