March is Women’s History Month, a time when we contemplate and celebrate the advances we women have enjoyed over the years. Certainly, the social changes we’ve undergone in the past half century alone are enough to fill volumes. Rarely, however, do we consider the radical changes we’ve experienced in our intimate, love relationships when assessing our gains. Yet, the truth is, relationships have changed more in the past 50 years than they did in the 5,000 years before.
Back in the 1960s, a study was done where women were asked, “If you met a man who fit all of your criteria for a husband but you did not love him, would you marry him?” Over 70% said, yes they would! Compare that to a more recent study where women were asked a similar question, and a resounding 95% said absolutely not! No longer are we just looking for someone to partner with. We are looking for “The One.”
Most of us have dramatically elevated our expectations of what it is that we want in a partner far beyond what our grandparents ever even imagined having. Yet, one reason that so many of us are struggling to find that one perfect mate – our best friend, lover, spiritual companion, financial partner and intellectual equal— the one person in all the world who inspires us to be our very best selves, is up underneath our dreams, and capable of loving us in all the ways we’ve always yearned to be loved, is because well . . . frankly, we’ve not yet become the people we ourselves would need to be in order to attract in and sustain that kind of love. Frankly said, we’ve not yet evolved ourselves to the level of maturity to the point where we can actually manifest and maintain the relationship that we are hoping to find.
Relationships are only partly about finding the right person. The other part is about being the right person. In order to have the love that you are yearning to have, you will need to become a great lover (and I don’t mean in the physical sense of the word!). I mean that we really need to take on becoming our most juicy, alive, mature, wise, centered and powerful selves so we can attract in our very best possible partner and co-create the relationship we so desire to have!
So, remember, you don’t want to simply pray for the right person to come into your life. You actually want to pray to be ready when he or she appears. And then you want to get to work and prepare! Till the soil of your own consciousness, so that you are ready to receive this person into your life. Take on growing and developing beyond your old familial wounds so that you are capable of creating great love. Stretch yourself to begin realizing your higher potentials in life so that you are ready to support someone else to begin realizing their highest potentials as well.
Because I assure you, when you do meet your beloved, you will ever be grateful that you did.