Love is complicated. It is both universal, and highly individual. In a way, nobody is an expert on love, and in a way, everybody is. Love is the same for all of us; it must be, or songs about love wouldn’t twang such universal chords. But it’s also different – how often have you looked at a couple and wondered how they could possible stay together?
One thing I’ve learned since I started writing about introversion in 2009 is that a lot of introverts out there didn’t know they were introverts until they started reading about it and hearing what other introverts had to say. ALl they knew is that they felt like weirdos, and that people were always telling them they were doing life wrong and should be different.
If you’re an introvert, would you want to spend your life with another introvert? Here are a few reasons to consider:
1. They get it. More than anything, many introverts are tremendously relieved to find another soul who understands the pleasure of quiet, a restrained social life, home, and tranquility. It can be a tremendous relief to be with someone who doesn’t lay on guilt trips when you need a little bit of space to be with your own thoughts.
2. The sweet sound of silence. Introverts don’t chatter. An introvert is a lot less likely than an extrovert to fuss if you’re being quiet or if you need some time inside your own head, with your computer, video games, book, or whatever you like to lose yourself in.
3. No party pressure. Introverts are often relieved when plans cancel, so with another introvert, you can usually back out of social obligations with no repercussions. Knowing that you both enjoy, or dislike, the same sorts of things means that deciding which invitations to accept and which to decline requires minimal negotiation, and even when you decide to show up, changes are good you’ll be ready to leave at about the same time.
4. They won’t try to drag you onto the dance floor. And I mean both literally and figuratively. Another introvert is not likely to lay the whole “try it, you’ll like it” trip on your if you already know you won’t like it, whatever it is: Karaoke, the bunny hop, skinny-dipping with the gang. Another introvert will find it a lot easier to take no for an answer and you won’t have to justify your preferences.
5. A companion for introvert fun. What’s your idea of a really good time? Curling up on the couch with a book? Hiking a quiet trail? An art museum and a sidewalk cafe? A long road trip? While of course you can enjoy these things alone, wouldn’t it be nice to have an equally happy warm body next to you on the ouch? To have someone’s hand to hold when you reach a beautiful view?
I don’t suggest that extroverts don’t enjoy these things, because I know they do; but their appetite for them will be more quickly sated and then they’re ready to get social. They need to get social.
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