Books for Better Living is shutting down. Learn more.

5 Ways to Up Your Body-Language Flirting Game

We get a few expert opinions from the author of How We Do It: Secrets from the Sex Lab.

When the time is right, you’ll need to have a few flirting tricks up your sleeve. Here’s what we recommend:

Start out with what’s called a Type I glance (your eye sweeps the room, passing by your prospect), then move on to a Type II glance (short, darting glance), then a Type III (you hold someone’s gaze for a second, then look away.) The longer you can look, the stronger your feelings may grow for each other—provided, of course, that all that eye contact is mutual. Otherwise, staring at someone who’s not staring back will just come off as creepy.

Once you’ve initiated contact, take your flirting game to the next level.

Widen your pupils. The pupils in our eyes dilate when they see something they like; it can also make you look more alluring to others. To take advantage of this fact, pick dimly lit places for your dates, which will force your pupils to dilate so you two can drink each other in.

Separate the real smiles from the fakes. Unsure whether someone’s genuinely overjoyed to see you or has plastered on a fake smile for the sake of being polite? Shift your focus from the mouth to the eyes. If the corners of the eyes are squinting (perhaps you’ll see crow’s feet), then the smile is the real deal. You’re welcome company…

Mirror your date’s movements. If he crosses his legs, cross yours. If she takes a sip of her drink, do the same. This will convey that you two are on the same wavelength, further enhancing rapport. One caveat: Don’t be so obvious about it that you get caught having to explain why you two just happen to be scratching your left ear at the very same time. That would be weird…

Reach out and touch something. Early on, flirters will often fiddle with their hair, stroke their arm, or rub their knee. Take it as a good sign, fueled by a subconscious desire to be touched by someone else. When you first attempt to initiate physical contact with an acquaintance, try tapping a forearm, an elbow, or the back of a hand—all safe options to get things started without coming on too strong.


Photo Credit: Shutterstock


Share this Post