“Opening and staying open to a sexual life that works is nothing if not an act of deep courage.” –Wendy Strgar, author of Sex That Works
In her new book Sex That Works, Wendy Strgar talks about sex in a way that makes you feel like you’re chatting with a girlfriend who’s smart, open and funny (and knows a lot more about sex than you do).
As the founder of Good Clean Love and a pioneering author on love and relationships, Strgar strips away our assumptions about what makes sex good. She uses an evidence-based approach that’s down-to-earth and provocative at the same time.
Strgar also shares stories from her own 30-year marriage and reveals how she and her husband “grew up” sexually after 15 years together. So much of what they learned had little to do with ways to “spice it up” in the bedroom. Mostly, they learned how to let go and look within.
Sex That Works will invite you to think about your sexuality – and yourself – in a new way. When it comes to our sexual relationships, exploring our tender spots (points of pain, shame, fear) is incredibly freeing. Strgar guides us through life-changing practices that help bring us closer to a full expression of our erotic life.
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“Desire is vulnerability,” writes Strgar. “We make ourselves vulnerable in wanting more intimacy and, even more deeply, in seeing ourselves as loveable.”
Strgar suggests, “By committing to find the sexual spark in ourselves, we learn to trust our own sexual response and, more importantly, to know that we have the ability to respond sexually when we choose to.”
“Resilience becomes more powerful when it is shared,” Strgar offers. “Having someone show up with true tenacity of spirit buoys us even in the darkest moments. All long-term, healthy sexual relationships rely on each partner’s ability to believe in a future that might always be apparent.”
“Being persistent isn’t about being stubborn and subjecting yourself to endless pain or suffering,” Strgar argues. “Usually, the moment when we think we can’t stand it anymore is the moment when something shifts, the moment that makes sense of the struggle to get there.”
Strgar encourages us to see that sex isn’t an escape, it’s essential.
Her book isn’t about what to do when it comes to sex. It’s about what to feel. Reading Sex That Works is a gentle invitation to dive deeper into your own erotic life.
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